Mind struggles
basic lines with charcoal
Hi guys, today I want to share how my mind goes while I'm painting. I'm (almost) NEVER satisfied, I'm very frustrated and sometimes I even want to cry... So, this makes you wonder why I even do this in the first place huh?
No, I really enjoy painting or illustrating, this is what I love to do since I was a little girl. While I'm painting, I forget the world around me (and time and dinner,..).
But the result is always disappointing to me. So here it goes, welcome inside my head.
First I search for ideas. There's a lot of inspiration on Pinterest or magazines,... pictures I'm drawn to. When I look at it, my fingers start itching, because they want to draw. (I've already accepted the fact that I only draw woman,... why is that? I don't know. I just love to draw it the most. But I will talk about that in another post.)
Once I've chosen my picture, I draw the basic lines with charcoal.
This is fun, I'm in the mood!
Then I start to build it up with acrylic paint, layer after layer after layer. In the meanwhile I'm thinking how I should finish it: fill it with colors or keep it very linear, etc.
Lalala, I'm enjoying this
There're also a lot of emotions involved. Most of the time you can see how I'm feeling by the expression or use of colors or strokes... But I'm not noticing this in the process.
Well, here's the first acrylic layer and I see I've used pink...
Hmm. I don't want to make a pink painting. It's to ..weak. Also how she's looking, it's not powerful enough. I want to make a powerful painting with bold colors and stuff!
Like those colors:
I'm getting frustrated!
So I'm painting new layers, with more red and darker colors (brown, grey,...)
No, it's still not what I want
Why is it still pink?! grrrr
And what should I do with that background? Full color blue? But if I do that, and it's awful I can't erase it. So, just a 'safe' neutral background? ok.
Well, here's the result and I'm completely unsatisfied!
Maybe I should quit drawing, I suck!
When I was looking at the pictures, I noticed I had to stop earlier, with the first acrylic layer - when it looked more fresh and airy. Again, I've overdone a painting.
I guess I was in a romantic, melancholic mood or something like that. And I don't wanted to feel me this way (as long as I can give it an explanation ;-) )
Are you dealing with these kind of frustrations? I would like to know.
But happy ending! A day later, I was drawing again ( I just can't help it).
Maybe someday I will be happy about the actual result. Now I'm still practicing my skills or climbing that mountain, but do I want to reach that top? So maybe I like this frustration?
Don't think to much
